Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Car Compatibility

Holy crap, so many engagements announced in the past few weeks, including one or two of questionable legitimacy. Don't worry friends, I'm pretty sure that the questionable engagers do not read "This Charming Mancub". Though I am hardly a reputable authority on the subject, I have what I believe to be extremely important advice for couples about to enter marriage. The advice comes from one of the wisest tomes I have ever encountered, The Bad Driver's Handbook. When I first heard this advice, I gave my patented response to something that is genuinely funny: I read the joke over and over again to myself, read it aloud to anyone I encountered in the next 3 hours, and for the next several days, thought of the joke at random moments and began laughing hysterically, much to the bewilderment of nearby persons.

So, fair readers, as you prepare for marriage, I urge you to consider your car compatibility. Dislike of your mate's driving of riding style will only result in tragedy. In the words of the authors of the Bad Driver's Handbook, "Take the amount of time you expect to spend having sex and cut that by half. Then take the amount of time you expect to spend driving together and multiple that by four. Now your expectations are a bit closer to reality." You've been warned.

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